Chapter Seven, Part One

Robert stepped outside with no clear destination in mind. He only knew that he was more bothered than he thought he would be by seeing the diary again. He had found it in a battered foot locker that had been one of the first pieces of furniture Diana had acquired in Kentucky, during the months when there had been no other accommodation for her but a tack room in one of the barns. He had opened it out of curiosity, but the sight of her handwriting and the earnestness of her words had overwhelmed him.

She had been eighteen then, confused and traumatized by experiences Robert understood with his intellect but scarcely dared allow himself to feel. When she saddled her horse to leave in the pre-dawn hour shortly before Christmas, she had a map in her saddlebag with directions west to Castaño, but instead she went north.

Robert had waited in Castaño, hoping without conviction that she would come to him. It had been her idea, after all. They would run away together. Instead, she ran away alone. She had played him for a fool, and after Christmas he returned to Unitas, throwing himself into ever more risky assignments as if danger could purge him of Diana's memory. Then one day he walked into a trap near Cobre and it was she who saved him, then fled before he could chase after her and demand an explanation.

He contacted Amalia after that, through Miguel's ham station, which was one of the few ways to communicate reliably in those days when telephone lines had been stolen for their copper and mail delivery was slow and uncertain. Through Amalia, he learned that Diana had been delayed in leaving New Mexico and had heard of the danger in Cobre while laid up ill in Silver City. He also learned when Diana finally left New Mexico, heading north into the United States. He and Amalia worried together over her long silences, and sometimes the distraction of thinking of her became too much and he would have to set aside an official communiqué or stop plotting his latest diplomatic coup so that he could go for a walk and clear his head.

Then one day a rider came to him with an urgent message. Diana was in Lexington, out of food and out of money. Could he give her a work reference for one of the horse farms he had done business with on behalf of Unitas?

Of course he could.

Letters followed, chatty and appreciative of his help in getting her a position at Northwind Farm, but oddly formal, too, as if she was holding something back. Somehow she got mixed up in the development of a local phone company and invited him to invest, which was how he came to have direct contact with Sam, the ham operator who was relaying her messages to Amalia. And it was through Sam that he found that Diana had almost married a local out of loneliness.

"She wants you, Robert, but doesn't want to say it to you plain, for some reason. If you want her, you're going to have to make the first move. She's a pretty girl, and the pretty ones don't wait forever, you know."

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Robert stopped musing and looked around. He was standing in the garden near the flower beds and a small fountain. A stone statue of an angel caught his eye and a memory stirred, words murmured in Diana's sleep that brought other, more painful memories to mind. Reluctant to follow those thoughts, Robert looked about and selected the path that would take him to Miguel's radio station. He owed Sam a message. As he made his way toward the distant building, his mind returned to the last time he had been here, when he came to see Amalia.

"If I give up everything, and she won't have me..."

"She'll have you."

"How do you know?"

"I raised her."

He had declined Miguel's offer to send a message on that particular day. He had lost Diana twice and wouldn't give her a chance to slip away a third time. When he approached Northwind Farm, after two months of travel, he found her in a paddock bordering the road, teaching a group of children to jump their horses. He watched her in the afternoon sunlight, until one of her students trotted up to him while she was distracted by a girl attempting a tricky jump.

"Tell her Robert Dubeck is here to see her," he told the boy.

He gave the message. Diana turned around. She stared, unmoving, for so long that her students noticed and clustered around her, but then she walked her horse to the fence as if there was no one else for miles in any direction.

Robert had never known her to be at a loss for words, but she didn't speak until he said her name.

She frowned in confusion. "Are you here to get horses for Unitas?"

"No."

More confusion.

"I suppose you could introduce me to Eli and Sabine," he said, hoping to break her silence. "I've communicated with them often but never actually met them in person."

Diana nodded agreement, dismissed her students, and came to the gate. She led him to the house and introduced him to the farm's owners with such formality that he was beginning to think it had all been a mistake, and he had thrown away his career for nothing. Then Sabine offered to find him a room for the night.

"He's staying with me," Diana said. Her words were clear and confident, but when he looked at her, she blushed and turned away.

She lapsed back into tongue-tied silence as they put up their horses and walked to the little cottage she had recently been given as a full working hand on the property. She didn't speak when he closed the door behind him, either, but that was because there was no more need for words.